Thursday, December 31, 2015

Book 52 of 52(!): "Ready Player One" and "Armada", by Ernest Cline


Finally, the end of my year!  52 books done - one a week!  And to wrap things up, I'm finishing with one of the most critically acclaimed and bestselling novels of last year - and its more recent sequel, just for good measure.

Both of these books, "Ready Player One" and "Armada", are built around a science fiction premise, but mainly are homages to all things eighties, with tons of references to pop culture, video games, movies, television shows, songs, and more.  Here's a brief summary of each:

In "Ready Player One", it's the future, and the world's gone to hell.  Most people escape into the OASIS, a virtual reality where there are almost no limits on what you can do.  The billionaire founder of OASIS died a decade previously, and left his fortune hidden as an "easter egg" somewhere in OASIS.  The protagonist decides to find this easter egg - but he'll have to hurry, since an evil corporation bent on monetizing OASIS is also after the egg!

In "Armada", the main character is amazed to see a spaceship hovering over his school - and not just any spaceship, but one of the ships from his favorite online game! As it turns out, this online game has been created by the government, secretly training people all over the world to fight the oncoming alien hordes!  It's a situation straight out of a bad B-movie - and, in fact, it seems a little too contrived...

Both of the books are great, with one glaring flaw - others have pointed out that, while Cline excels at many aspects of writing, his female characters are flat and exist basically so the male leads can have someone to flirt with.  At some points, it almost feels like a fan fiction for men to indulge in their "damsel in distress" fantasies.

But despite that single weak point, the rest of the story is great, the references are EVERYWHERE, and the books definitely have a solid, strong plotline.  I'm glad I read them!

And now, on to 2016!

Time to read: 2-3 hours each.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

"I don't need flesh to be human."

I often wonder how many geniuses really exist.

Look around you, next time you're out in public.  People everywhere, streaming by, bustling about on the worthless minutiae of their everyday lives.  No one challenges them.  There's no dire, life or death need.  Their requirements for survival are filled, they busy themselves with the tiny, unimportant, trivial details.

They possess no roaring storm to transform their tiny flame of genius into a roaring inferno.  So instead, that little flame gutters and eventually extinguishes itself.

I look around at these others with dismay, sadness, because I used to be like them.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Book 51 of 52: "The $64 Tomato" by William Alexander

Author's note: this is the last Monday of the year - shouldn't this be book 52?  Strange.  I'll do one more book this week, then.



Gardening.  No, not gardening, farming.  It always feels like a great hobby, the purest way to give back to Nature, create the freshest and healthiest food, and save money on a grocery bill.  What could be better than growing your own fruits and vegetables, with nothing but sunlight, soil, and water, and eating them all year round?

This, at least, is how William Alexander feels at the beginning of his book, and I have to say that I echo his sentiment.  However, as he soon discovers when he actually purchases some farmland and starts growing, Nature has other plans.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Layover

Slumped back into the sagging bench seat at the airport, I gazed around at the rush of humanity around me as music blared into my ears through my headphones.  I did my best to keep my eyes moving, trying not to linger too much on any one face in case they caught my covert attention.

It certainly was a busy time at the airport, I noted, adding sourly a moment later that this was probably why my flight ended up being delayed as well.  Stuck in this place for another couple of hours, waiting for them to finally call over the half-incomprehensible intercom that the plane had finally arrived and was ready for boarding.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Abducted! - Part 2

Continued from Part 1, here.

Twenty minutes or so, I had to admit that we were thoroughly, hopelessly lost.

When I glanced over at Elena, the language barrier between us didn't prevent me from seeing that she felt the same way.  I could read it in the hunch of her shoulders, the padding of her feet where she'd previously hopped along, excited to be free.

"Pretty dull, isn't it?" I remarked, more just to fill the silence than because she'd understand.

Glancing back at me, she commented something back, although I couldn't understand a word.

No, wait - I caught one of the curse words she'd taught me in there.  I grinned, and she smiled sympathetically back.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Book 50 of 52: "Bad Paper" by Jake Halpern


Debt.  We all know that it's bad, but we only recently saw the impact that it can have on our entire economy in the crash in the most recent decade.  But just how does owing $5,000 for a car loan, or $300 for a payday loan, or $210,000 for a zero-money-down mortgage lead to problems with the entire stock market?

And what actually happens to all the debt?

Friday, December 18, 2015

[AGttA] Chapter 1: The Angel and the Furby

The Amateur's Guide to the Apocalypse

Axiom 1: Remain calm.  

Holy shit.  Oh my god.  Oh my dear, jumping, Jesus Christ of a god.

I'm going to die.

Yep, this is it.  Right now.  Totally going to die, any second now.  Better just close my eyes, accept my fate, and wait for it to be over.

...or not, maybe.

Hmm.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Abducted! - Part 1

Feeling thoroughly disoriented, I struggled up to my feet, looking around.  Good lord, I must have had more to drink at the bar than I remembered.

As I looked around, however, still rubbing at the back of my head, I started to realize that something else was very wrong.

I stood in the middle of a small room, with white walls, floor, and ceiling.  The room appeared brightly lit, although I couldn't tell where the light actually came from.  Were the walls themselves glowing?

More importantly to me, however, was the fact that I saw no door in the walls.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Book 49 of 52: "Expedition to the Mountains of the Moon" by Mark Hodder


I think I'm getting my fill of steampunk fantasy this year!

For anyone who's been following along, I've been reading all of Mark Hodder's Burton & Swinbourne series, although I haven't read them in order.  The true order is:

The Strange Affair of Spring-Heeled Jack
The Curious Case of the Clockwork Man
Expedition to the Mountains of the Moon
The Secret of Abdu El-Yezdi
The Return of the Discontinued Man
The Rise of the Automated Aristocrats
I, however, have read them in the following order: 5-2-1-3-6.  I haven't found book 4 yet.

This makes things confusing...

Friday, December 11, 2015

My latest novel is LIVE and for sale - for just 99 cents!

Hey there, reader!  Do you like stories with comedy, drama, angels, sassy female heroines, and the end of the world?

What am I saying, of course you do.  Who in the world wouldn't like such an amazing sounding story?

Well, now you can read the very story I described above, all for just 99 cents!  And you know that it will be good, because I wrote it!


Check out my latest book, Apocalypse Before Coffee, by clicking the picture of my book above!  It's for sale on Amazon, and it's only 99 cents, or free to borrow and read if you're a Kindle Unlimited subscriber!

Seriously, give it a look.  It includes a plucky female heroine, a rather sarcastic angelic guardian, sneaking into Hell via the back entrance (located in the DMV), multiple celestial beings getting pepper-sprayed (it's nothing they don't deserve), people nearly vomiting from inter-planar travel, a climactic showdown for the fate of the entire Earth, and spiky demonic toilets.

And if that doesn't describe the perfect novel, well, I don't know what you want.

It Just Kept Spinning

Sometimes, when something strange happens to you, it's best to just roll with it.  Or spin with it, in this case.

In other words, I'm glad that I've always had the mind of an engineer.

Also, that I happened to be playing with the magnetic trick coin when it happened.

Let me set the scene.  Friday night, about seven at night.  I'm sitting at my crappy little dinner table, fiddling with the coin absent-mindedly as I'm staring at my phone, sitting on the table.

She still hasn't texted back, of course.  Isn't that how life always goes?  Everything was great, we were joking, laughing, tons of texts flowing back and forth.  And then, I ask her out - and suddenly nothing, silence.

Sucks, man.  I hate that feeling, especially considering how frequently it seems to be a part of my life.  Losing.  Always losing.

Just once, I thought to myself savagely as I flicked the coin across the table, I'd like a win.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

After the supervillains have won...

The heels of my shoes clicked smartly against the floor as I approached the double doors of the Oval Office.  I paused for a moment outside the doors, checking my hair and running my eyes one last time over the contents of the leather file in my hands, and then stepped through.

"Sir?  I have the latest reports," I called out to the high-backed leather chair behind the President's desk.

The chair slowly rotated around.  I carefully avoided rolling my eyes.  The last intern to roll his eyes at the theatrics of our leader had ended up "volunteering" as a test subject for an Explosive Growth Ray, intended to boost meat production by super-sizing cows and pigs.

As it turned out, the "Explosive" part worked a lot better than the "Growth" part.  I heard that the janitors had to scrub the ceiling down for days before they got it all cleaned up.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Book 48 of 52: "Overwhelmed" by Brigid Schulte


Ever feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything on your checklist?  Have you considered giving up on your checklist, because you'll never finish it?  Heck, do you ever feel like your to-do list is growing faster than you can cross things off?

I know I've felt this way before.  So when I saw the cover of Brigid Schulte's book, Overwhelmed, I hoped that I might find some answers inside.  How can I avoid that crushing mental exhaustion of always feeling, well, overwhelmed?

Friday, December 4, 2015

Planning: An Amateur's Guide to the Apocalypse [AGttA]

Author's note: I'm not yet done with my current novel (Apocalypse Before Coffee, coming soon!), but I'm already plotting out my next story.  I'm starting with a working title:

An Amateur's Guide to the Apocalypse

The book is going to be divided up into several chapters, each one built around a different "survival tip" for the Apocalypse, the Biblical end of the world!  The main story, however, will follow a single character, a young man, as he attempts to journal his continued existence as the world comes crumbling down around him.

Ten essential steps to surviving the Apocalypse:

  1. Remain calm.  Take stock of your surroundings.
  2. Gather supplies.
  3. Search for other survivors.
  4. Keep clear and open communications.
  5. Learn as much as possible.
  6. Formulate a long-term plan.
  7. Remain positive.
  8. Adapt to setbacks.
  9. Don't lose hope.
  10. Find what makes you happy.
The book will be split into ten smaller sections, each one based around one of these ten steps.  The rest of the story will be in the form of a journal, kept by the main character, Quinn, as he attempts to stick to his ten 'easy steps' - or, at least, survive!

Unfortunately for Quinn, surviving the Apocalypse isn't quite as easy as the ten-step survival guide makes it sound...

I plan on writing many of these chapters as blog posts, so stay tuned for more information - coming soon!

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Nebulous Nightmares


"You all don't understand!" the man cackled, rocking gently back and forth.  "You don't know them, don't realize just how they are.  Ohh, they hunger, but for so much more than you ever can know!"

He didn't seem to see me, I noted, even though he sat directly across the metal table from me.  His hands were attached to a ring on the table via metal cuffs, but he ignored how the bracelets tugged at his hands when he rocked back in his chair.

"Doctor Angell," I repeated, waiting for the man to return back to a more lucid state.  "George, it's me, Francis.  Please, try and stay calm."

Dr. Angell's eyes briefly focused on me, but then they darted off again as he kept on rocking back and forth, now muttering indistinctly to himself.  He always did eventually come around, but as of late it seemed to take longer and longer.  His mind's grip on reality, the doctors at the sanitarium said, was slowly slipping away.

I didn't know how much longer I had before he'd lose that tenuous grip and fully slip away.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Book 47 of 52: "The Strange Affair of Spring-Heeled Jack" by Mark Hodder


This book is Mark Hodder's sequel to "The Curious Case of the Clockwork Man," which I read last week.  Adventurers Sir Richard Burton and Algernon Swinburne are back, this time facing down a rogue time traveler!

This is where the fact that I've accidentally read a future book in this series comes back to bite me.  While I don't remember all the details, I do have some idea what's going to happen to Edward Oxford, our time traveler from the future, and it's sometimes a little tough to read his doomed story.  Of course, Hodder makes it pretty clear that the poor fellow's doomed from the start, so it doesn't totally overshadow the story.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Lost.



The ship drifted, the deck softly rocking back and forth beneath me.  I could feel the shifting of the rough boards against my back, in gentle constant motion.

Gazing up into the sky, I watched sleepily as the mast rocked back and forth, its motion amplified by the boat beneath me.  Back and forth it swung, tracing a line back and forth across the innumerable points of light on the night sky's backdrop.

Adrift.  Lost.  The words flitted through my head, but they meant nothing to me.

Almost out of time.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

A day in the life of a secret agent

The door slid open to reveal two hefty men, both of them clad in identical black outfits and both wearing identical angry scowls.  They gaped at me for a moment, and then lunged forward, grabbing for the guns at their belts.

That moment's pause was their undoing.  Relying on my years of training, I slid forward, ducking under the swing of the nearest.  I rose up with a powerful uppercut, connecting squarely with his jaw and sending him flying backwards through the air.

I pivoted as soon as the blow landed, opening my hands to grapple with the man's companion.  He'd freed his gun from his holster, but I snagged his wrist, keeping the pistol aimed up into the air.

The gun fired, a sharp retort that echoed through the air, but I twisted at his hand, snapping his wrist and knocking the pistol from his hand.  I caught the gun by the barrel with my other hand, swinging the butt up to connect with the man's temple.  He collapsed down bonelessly next to his fallen companion.

Readjusting my grip on the pistol, I sighed.  Were all henchmen so easy to beat up?

Monday, November 23, 2015

NaNoWriMo winner, 2015 edition!


Another National Novel Writing Month challenge bites the dust!

That's right, I just passed 50,000 words on my latest novel!  And all of it done in under 30 days, with an average of approximately 2,300 words per day.  Not bad at all!

Of course, the novel's not done yet.  50,000 words is a good start, but I've probably got 10k more to go before the story's wrapped up.

And then comes editing, and cover design, and compiling, and rewriting...

Still, I'm pretty proud!

Book 46 of 52: "The Curious Case of the Clockwork Man" by Mark Hodder


Steampunk and more steampunk!  I seem to have gotten myself hooked on a new genre, but I swear it's not my fault - someone keeps on putting books with such catchy, appealing covers out in the library for me to check out!

Mark Hodder certainly does Steampunk well.  His books follow two individuals - the brave, strong Sir Francis Burton and the wiry little poet Algernon Swinbourne - but these two characters are accompanied by a whole host of other historical figures, including H.G. Wells, Charles Babbage, the great scientists Darwin and Galton, Detective Inspector Trounce, and others.  The characters ride in crazy mechanical contraptions, breed strange and curious monsters, and face down mediums, monstrosities, and all manner of clockwork - classic steampunk tropes everywhere.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Taking the Piss

"Hold on.  No, hold on."  I didn't hear any objections coming from my companions as we stumbled out of the club, heading down to the parking garage, but I still felt the need to protest.  "Hold on!"

Finally, Jack glanced back at me.  "Dude, what is it?"

"I, uh, I need a minute."  I felt my bladder stretched to its limit, about to explode at any moment if I didn't relieve the pressure.  "Just hold on, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer, I headed away from the group, up towards the tree line of the nearby woods.  I stumbled in past the first couple of rows of trees, but I couldn't make it much further before need overwhelmed me and I came to a stop, fumbling for the zipper on my jeans.

Feeling desperation rising along with the water level, I managed to tug my equipment out, aimed it hurriedly at a tree, and then sighed as I let go of that tension.  A powerful jet shot out, spraying against the tree and scattering droplets in all directions.

"Ohh, yes."  I closed my eyes, sagging back as I felt my bladder finally, mercifully, beginning to empty itself.  This felt better than sex!

"Um, excuse me??"

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Morning Routine

I stumbled into the bathroom, blinking as I tried to rub the remnants of sleep out of my eyes.  My bare feet padded across the cold tile, and I vaguely wished that I'd had the forethought to pull on my slippers.

Entering the bathroom, my hand banged against the wall, searching for the light switch.  I found it, and the fan in the ceiling hummed to life as the lights came on.

Glancing up at my mirror, I blinked.  Where was my reflection?

Monday, November 16, 2015

Book 45 of 52: "When to Rob a Bank" by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner


I've always been a fan of Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner.  For anyone who doesn't recognize the names, these two economists are the authors of Freakonomics, along with its direct sequel (SuperFreakonomics) and a book on their methods (Think Like a Freak).  These books aim to apply economics reasoning to many questions we face, often with surprising results.

For example, in one of their books, the authors asked whether drunk walking or drunk driving is more dangerous.  Despite what we might assume, they showed that on a per-mile basis, it's actually more dangerous to walk drunk than to drive!  And although this conclusion seems incorrect at first, the actual evidence and statistics support it.

Friday, November 13, 2015

The Art of Coffee Shop Sketching



I glanced up from my sketch book as she stopped in front of my table, her free hand tapping at the chair across from me.

"This seat open?" she asked, giving the words an upward lilt to suggest a question.  Brown hair fell in waves around sparkling hazel eyes.

I nodded, only briefly eyeing her, not wanting to lose my focus.  My pencil remained poised over my half-completed sketch, about to complete an important stroke.

I heard her pull back the chair, settle into it.  The corner of my eye caught her coffee cup as it landed on the table, only inches from my own.

I focused on my work, but when I next looked up, I saw her eyes observing me.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

"No, You Take Him."

Gadriel was the first to arrive, and as he stepped into the mortal plane, he briefly exulted, glad to see that he'd beaten his fallen counterpart there, if only by a few fractions of an instant.

It wasn't until nearly a nanosecond later - practically five minutes, to Gadriel's perception - that Laxazz appeared, bursting forth from a red-tinged portal, his roar of satisfaction quickly shifting to a surly growl as he caught sight of Gadriel's glowing wings and folded arms.

"Oh.  You're already here," he grunted, practically each word accompanied by a droplet or two of spittle, thanks to his hulking fangs.  "Finishing fast, huh?"

Gadriel didn't know how this was meant to insult him, but he could recognize the tone, and chose to ignore it.  "Listen, I beat you, so I get first pick of the soul," he stated instead, letting one of his hands drop down to rest, ever so lightly, on his sheathed sword.  The thing didn't flame up in the sheath, but Laxazz knew how easily that blade could burn his flesh.

"Yeah, whatever," he grunted back.  "Let's just get this done so I can get on to the next harvest."

Monday, November 9, 2015

Book 44 of 52: "The Map of Chaos" by Felix J. Palma


It's book 3 of the Map trilogy!  Book 1 was the Map of the Sky, book 2 was the Map of Time, and now we're back for one last wild ride with book 3, the Map of Chaos!

This third installment is definitely a good bit more complex than the previous two, but the plot is also more refined.  Our protagonist is once again Gilliam Murray (or is it Montgomery Gilmore?), the man who, in the last couple of books, has mucked about with time travel, fallen in love, and even helped fight off Martians.  We also get a return of our angry, irascible little hero H. G. Wells, once again dragged into the mix against his will.

Friday, November 6, 2015

He's starting to suspect he's being poisoned.

The table pinwheeled across the floor of the tavern, not stopping until it collided with a thump against the opposite wall.  All around the room, patrons cringed, hastily trying to gulp down the rest of their drinks.  They could sense the oncoming storm.

When a troll gets angry, smart adventurers make sure that they're on the other side of a door, preferably in an entirely different building altogether.

Still, Mr. Loaf, the barkeep, came bustling out, his stained apron flapping about his stubby legs.  "Ah, Mr. Slate," he greeted the angry patron, his voice making a terminal attempt at cheerfulness.  "Does something seem to be the problem?"

The troll, still crouching as though the table was in front of him instead of flipped against the far wall, nodded.  "Yus, something wrong!" he rumbled, shaking so violently that small flakes peeled off of him and tumbled to the dirty straw covering the floor.  "You poisoning me!"

At that accusation, a couple other heads lifted up cautiously from below their hastily erected shelters.  Poisoning was a serious accusation.

"Poison?" Loaf repeated blankly, rubbing his hands on his apron and succeeding in dirtying them terribly.  "What in the world makes you say that?"

In response, Slate thrust out his mug.  The barkeep instinctively leaned back, although the gesture was more of a survival mechanism than due to anything untoward in the drink.

A moment later, however, he paused.  Something wasn't right.

Trolls, of course, enjoyed a molten concoction of blended lava and calcium, sometimes with floating pumice chunks and occasionally, if they were feeling especially fancy, with crushed silicon around the rim of the mug.  These drinks came in a heavily reinforced steel-plated mug, and tended to leave smoldering rings on the tables if left to sit for too long.

The mug in Slate's hand appeared to be full of a watery, amber colored liquid.

After recovering from leaning back, Mr. Loaf reached out and very cautiously dipped a finger in Slate's drink.  He lifted the wet finger to his nose, sniffed, and then assayed a taste.

"It's beer," he said after a moment.

"Yuh!  Poison!" Slate reiterated.  "You trying to corrode me!"

Perhaps because it was a simple mistake, Mr. Loaf relaxed prematurely.  He chuckled, patted the angry troll on his rocky shoulder, and then made his big mistake.

He attempted to use logic and reason.

"Listen, Mr. Slate, obviously there's just been a little mix-up," he said reasonably.  "Clearly, you've just gotten someone else's drink.  There's no need to be upset-"

His words trailed off as the troll lifted up the heavy, reinforced mug to his mouth and, without changing expression, took a large bite out of the vessel.  Metal crunched and shrieked in his mouth as his diamond teeth tore through the steel-covered hardwood.

Around the tavern, the other patrons hastily checked their weapons, either displayed or hidden.  A fight was about to break out.  Their keenly tuned senses of danger, trained from many years of adventuring, were quivering like taut bowstrings.  A party of archers in the corner checked their taut bowstrings.

Mr. Loaf could sense the approaching fight, as well.  He'd been a barkeeper for many years, and he knew when a little willful destruction of property (which he tolerated, considering how he overcharged for ale) was about to erupt into a full-fledged brawl (which he frowned upon, because no one ordered more drinks halfway through a brawl).  Now, with no other options left, he resorted to the last arrow in his verbal quiver.

"Perhaps a credit is in order," he suggested quickly.

Before he spoke, Slate had been rumbling, the deep grumble that a volcano emits just before violently erupting.  At these words, however, the rumble stopped, and the troll frowned in puzzlement.

"Credit?" he repeated.

"Yes, exactly," Loaf continued, following up quickly before the troll remembered where he'd parked his original train of thought.  "How about I give you a credit for this and... let's say, two... other drinks on tonight's bill?"

Trolls were generally dense, but even creatures of anthropomorphic rock could sense when they had leverage in a deal.  "Three," Slade countered.  "An' one of them's gonna be a River Rock Eruption.  With real agates, I can taste bad ones."

Mr. Loaf quickly weighed the costs of a brawl versus the cost of a drink with real agates.

"Done, but no more than three agates," he compromised.  "And you pick up my table."

For a long time, the troll remained silent - although Loaf knew that he might just be still working through the problem.  Finally, he shrugged his mountainous shoulders.

"Kay," he announced, standing up and heading over to retrieve the table.

Mr. Loaf bustled off to the back to prepare the troll's drink before allowing himself to let out a small sigh of relief.

Once back in the kitchen, out of sight of the drinkers in the front room, the barkeep rounded on the unfortunate server who'd brought out the troll's most recent drink.  "I told you that he has to be falling-down drunk before you try and slip him the beer!" he cursed her.  "He's stupid, but he's not stupid enough to drink straight beer before we've put at least a couple loads of lava into him!"

The woman tried to defend herself, but Loaf just turned away, shaking his head.  He never should have let that Assassin convince him to take this job, he grumbled to himself.  This whole thing was turning into more of a hassle than he'd ever wanted.

Next time, the damn nob could just try and get his mark with a sledgehammer when Slate passed out in the alley.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

"Recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors!"

"Hello, gentlemen.  Today, we've called you all in because all of you have previously prescribed Trexaphil, and we want to offer you a chance to spread the word.  Now, for the record, can we get your names, and your specialties?"

"Dr. Newman, trauma medicine."

"Dr. Cooper, gastrointestinal disorders."

"Dr. Arthur, pediatrics."

DR. HAARLAX GARJHALLARAXX, PLAGUE, PESTILENCE, AND LAMENTATION.

"Dr. Daniels, orthodontics."

The presenter paused for a moment, his brow furrowing.  Something didn't sound quite right, but he couldn't put his finger on what felt off.  He decided to press on.

"Great, thank you.  And according to our records, each of you prescribed Trexaphil within the last year.  Going down the line, can each of you explain what you prescribed this medicine for?  We'll start with you, Dr. Newman."

"Thank you.  Yes, as mentioned, I prescribed Trexaphil after a trauma patient reported headaches and chills that made it difficult for him to focus on his physical therapy after an accident.  The Trexaphil did a great job of helping increase his mental focus, and I'm happy to report that he made a full recovery."

"Thanks, Dr. Newman.  And now, let's hear from Dr... Cooper, why don't you speak next."

"Yes, of course.  A patient of mine was receiving treatment for a secondary bowel infection, and he needed an anti-inflammatory that wouldn't also further compromise his damaged gut microbiome.  Trexaphil was suggested to me as a solution, and I was pleased to note that it caused no shift in his microbe populations."

"Wonderful.  And now, how about Dr... er, I'm not quite sure how to pronounce-"

ME?

"Er, yes."

IT'S GARJHALLARAXX.

"Uh, yes, of course.  And you prescribed Trexaphil, did you?"

I DO NOT RECALL - AH, YES, THE SMALL PURPLE PILLS.  WE BELIEVED THAT THEY CONTAINED SIGNIFICANT LEVELS OF ARSENIC, AND INSERTED THEM VIOLENTLY INTO THE WATER SUPPLY OF A VILLAGE TO USHER IN A NEW DARK AGE OF DISEASE.

"I, uh, I don't think they actually contain any arsenic."

THEN THAT IS WHY OUR DARK VISION DID NOT COME TO PASS!  BLOOD AND DEATH UPON YOU FOR MISLEADING US WITH YOUR FALSE ADVERTISING!  WE SHALL FEAST UPON YOUR FLESH-RENT CARCASS!

"Right."  The advertising executive felt very uncertain about how to proceed.  He'd never had a focus group member threaten to feast upon him, although one angry senior citizen had once thrown a half-full can of Pepsi at his head.  "Well, um, perhaps we should just jump ahead."

Yes, that seemed like a good idea.  Something about the fourth doctor kept making him want to scratch at his skin.  "So, I will take a simple yes-no vote.  Would you recommend Trexaphil to patients who may currently be unsatisfied with their drug regimen?"

"Yes, I would."

"I agree.  It did wonders for my patients."

"I'm a bit cautious, but I see no reason why it shouldn't be used in the right situations."

Feeling strangely fearful, the advertising executive turned to Dr. Garj-whatever his name was.  "And you?"

SNIFF.  THE SMALL PURPLE PILL DID NOT CAUSE ANY PESTILENCE OR AGONY.  IT EVEN SEEMED TO MAKE SOME OF THE PUNY MORTALS HAPPIER AND MORE COMFORTABLE.  IT SHOULD BE DESTROYED BY RED-HOT SCOURING IRONS.

After he forced his leg to stop quivering, the executive paused.  That might not have been a perfect endorsement, but he'd take it!  "And finally you, Dr. Daniels," he finished, feeling his heart start to rise.

"I actually feel that Trexaphil didn't perform significantly differently from other options on the market, and it isn't worth its elevated price.  I don't recommend it."

The marketing executive sighed.  Still, four out of five was good enough to progress to the next stage of the advertising campaign.

"Well, thank you very much for your time, gentlemen.  Please, feel free to help yourselves to snacks and complimentary coffee before you leave."

Monday, November 2, 2015

Book 43 of 52: "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman


On the home stretch!  Fewer than 10 more books to complete my 52-book challenge!  A book a week for the entire year!

And I'm proud to include Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" on that list.

Gaiman is known for dark and compelling fantasy; I've read "American Gods" by him, and found it wonderfully disquieting and haunting.  "Neverwhere" is much the same, in which our narrator stumbles on an entire world beneath our own, full of hidden passages, magic, impossible twists in time and space, and dark monsters and wondrous beings, sometimes in the very same person.

Friday, October 30, 2015

[Retrieval] The Vault

You might want to read this story first.

Standing in the white corridor, Hatchet let his eyes roam around the corners, looking anywhere but at the keypad on the door at the end of the hallway.  One of the scientists bent over the keypad, typing in a complex sequence, while his companion stood by and looked back nervously at Hatchet.

The keypad wasn't the answer.  The thing was utterly secure; no one could hack through it without leaving evidence behind.  There had to be another way in.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Eat You Alive

The two men headed straight for my table, tucked back into a corner at the back of the bar.

I felt my unease growing as I sized the pair up.  I'd assumed that my watchdogs would be normal men.  Mercenaries, maybe, or ex-military.  A couple muscle-bound toughs, easy to dispose of when I no longer wanted them watching me.

But when these two men entered, their eyes immediately found mine, not even bothering with the rest of the bar's patrons.  The bigger of the pair showed no change of expression, but the little one flashed a brief, smirking little grin at me.

I'd picked the table at the back so that I wouldn't be interrupted.  Now, I found myself casting longing glances towards the bar's rear exit.  Maybe I should have sat closer to the door.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Book 42 of 52: "The Guard", by Peter Terrin


Holy hell, what a strange book.

A little bit of background: "The Guard" was originally written in another language, but was translated to English.  It's won prestigious prizes in Europe, and is supposed to be an "apocalyptic fable."  I'm not sure that's how I'd describe the book, but it's certainly... weird.

And not always in a good way.

Friday, October 23, 2015

First Contact

A thousand cameras followed the alien saucer as it dropped smoothly out of the sky, down towards the front lawn in front of the White House.

Frowning, I hefted the silver flask in my hand.  I usually made more of an attempt to keep the flask hidden from Arthur, my producer standing just behind Charlie the cameraman, but I couldn't manage to exert the effort tonight.

After all, all of us were feeling pretty distracted.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

A post-apocalyptic firefighter's call

The siren wailed, cutting through all other noise inside the firehouse.  Throughout the building, men and women paused in their current activities, their heads rising up like deer sniffing at the breeze.

In the break room, I cursed as I fought at the blankets on the cot that tried to ensnare me, wrapping around my limbs.  By the time I managed to fight my way free, I could already hear the rhythmic thudding of boots as the other firefighters hurried downstairs.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Book 41 of 52: "1634: The Baltic War" by Eric Flint and David Weber


Here we go, book 3 in the series!  This is, of course, the sequel to 1632 and 1633, following our time-lost Americans dropped back into 17th century Germany.  At least the naming scheme for the books is pretty consistent, right?

Well, up until this point.  From here on out, the timeline splits a bit as we follow around several different groups.  The book that is the apparent sequel to this one is called "1634: The Galileo Affair", and is set at the same time as this book, but follows different characters.

It's growing too much to keep track of!

Friday, October 16, 2015

The Man in the Field, Part II

Continued from Part 1, here.

I sat at my desk, my fingers interlocked in front of me.  My cup of coffee, the third one of the morning, slowly grew cold beside me.

The body was down on the slab in Samuelson's back room, and I'd carefully locked up that briefcase in our evidence locker.  Lewis had helped me put the thing in there, although neither of us spoke a word for the entire ride back to the station.

It was only after the thing was out of sight, under lock and key, that we started to drift back to normal.  I gave him a couple tasks to do - run down the prints off the dead body, try and get an ID, check for a wallet or other personal items - and sent him off.  Maybe we'd get lucky, find the guy in the system.

I, meanwhile, had a tougher decision to make.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Man in the Field, Part I

We got the call fairly early in the morning, according to the front desk's note.  Some farmer found the body, out walking his dog.

And that was lucky, too, I thought to myself as I rubbed my hands together.  I always chose the thinnest pair of leather gloves I could find, for dexterity, but they didn't hold in heat worth a damn.  The engine on my unmarked car was running full blast, but the heater always took twenty minutes to warm up.

Sitting beside me, Lewis stamped his feet on the floor and huffed into his own cupped hands, making a sound a bit like a coughing dog.  "Gah!  Is it always this cold?" he complained, wriggling his fingers.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Book 40 of 52: "1633" by Eric Flint and David Weber


Last week, I read Eric Flint's "1632."  Given the title, it should be easy to guess that this book, "1633", is the direct sequel - and you'd be correct!

Once again, we're back with our time-displaced West Virginians in the middle of Germany, smack dab in the center of the 30 Years' War.  Of course, by now our heroic Americans have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with - and word of their presence is spreading!  How are the other nations going to adjust?

Friday, October 9, 2015

Sparring

"Again."

For a moment, as my vision swirled, I thought that I saw three copies of the man, standing over me.  All three copies wore the same identical scowl as they glared down at me.

"Come on," I heard his voice through woolen ears.  "Get up.  We're going again."

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

A Scrape in the Dark

I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes wide open and my brain feeling like a skipping record.

Okay.  Silence.  It's lasted a while now - it has to have been at least a minute.  Maybe that means that the sound has-

Scrape.

Nope.  There it is again.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Book 39 of 52: "1632", by Eric Flint


Ever dreamed of going back in time, maybe with a .45 caliber pistol to help smooth things over with the natives?  Well, in "1632", an entire town of West Virginia hillbillies is magically/mystically teleported back to the middle of Europe, in the titular year, right in the middle of the 30 Years' War.

How's it happen?  There's a brief little science explanation, but the "how" doesn't really matter.  No, what truly matters is what happens next - and that's four hundred pages of good ol'fashioned American ass kicking.

Friday, October 2, 2015

[Elements] Be meets Al, K, and V

For reference: https://imgur.com/gallery/OawUY

"Through here!" Alli called to me, her voice barely audible over the rumble of machinery.  "We're close now!"

"Close to what?" I shouted back, although I knew that it wasn't of any use.  The girl had already dashed too far ahead to hear my response, and even though she'd disappeared out of view, I saw a door fly open ahead of me.

Shaking my head, I hurried after her.  What we were even doing here, in this dangerous factory, wasn't clear to me.  But this girl was my only contact, and I had to follow her.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Writing Prompt: The futile efforts of a slutty secretary.

"So, Mr. Carlyle, is there anything else I can get you?" the young woman asked, making sure that her breasts, hanging heavy in her low-cut blouse, just barely brushed against the man's suited shoulder.

The man, however, didn't glance up from his paperwork.  "No, Missy, that will be all, I think," he said, waving one hand vaguely in the air.

Missy felt a little put out, but she straightened up carefully, making sure to accentuate the long, slender lines of her figure.  Her mini-skirt ended only a fraction of an inch below the perfect curves of her ass, and if Richard Carlyle happened to slide one hand up along the inside of her perfect bronze thigh, he'd soon find a very distinct lack of underwear beneath...

Monday, September 28, 2015

Book 38 of 52: "The Map of the Sky" by Felix J. Palma


Steampunk science fiction and fantasy has been a rising genre, in my eyes.  It's often difficult for me to immerse myself initially in the complexity of the steampunk universe, trying to remember how I know names like Algernon Swinburne and Charles Babbage.  However, I've found that, after the first 100 pages, I'm irreconcilably mired in the story, and I can't bring myself to close the book until I've reached the last page.

Of course, it's helpful when the plot is sufficiently fantastic, as well.

Friday, September 25, 2015

REWRITE: Possession Talk Around the Neighborhood Grill

Author's note: I like this story!  But I feel that it could actually use a rewrite, to give these characters some description.  I normally hate editing, but... why not give it a shot?

The sun shone brightly down from above the trees, as a thin wisp of smoke rose up from below.  Given the scent of charcoal, mingled with that of charring meat, any observer wouldn't be amiss in guessing that they were catching a sniff of neighborhood barbecue.

The street was a cul-de-sac, a little half-circle of houses wrapping around the widened end of the street.  Today, the men had dragged their grills out to the middle of the street, plopping a couple of orange traffic cones further up the street to dissuade any lost drivers from plowing into the little gathering.  The grills were a motley assortment, from Jerry's traditional round charcoal grill to Bill's monstrosity of a modern grill, covered in knobs and adjustable flaps, its aluminum shining in the sun.

Gathered around the grills, the men chatted back and forth, occasionally opening up the grills to poke at the meat and produce sharp hisses of grease and juices flashing into steam.  Meanwhile, the women gossiped in little circles as they sipped at freshly made margaritas, and the children ran around the groups, chasing each other and occasionally letting out high-pitched screams.

It was a great day for a barbecue, overall.  The sun hadn't yet reached its apex in the sky, but the day was already pleasantly warm, with just the slightest of breezes rustling the leaves on the trees.

The women gossiped, but the women always gossiped.  Most of them stayed home during the week instead of heading out to offices, and they'd raised gossip to a high art form as they ducked in and out of each other's houses.

For the men, on the other hand, 'gossip' had become a taboo term.  If asked, each man would insist that he never gossiped - he merely updated the other men of the neighborhood on current events within his sphere of influence, his household, his kingdom.  They considered the exchange of information now occurring as vital to defending their homes as the motley assortment of baseball bats and golf clubs that they guiltily kept hidden in the back of their closets.

As he lowered the cover of his round charcoal grill back over the hissing meat, Jerry shook his head back and forth in disbelief.  "Man, you cannot be serious.  On either count."

"No, I swear it's true!"  Bill reached out and adjusted some knob on his huge, gleaming aluminum monstrosity of a grill.  Most of the other men would wager - accurately - that even Bill didn't know what that knob did, but that didn't mean that the others weren't envious of the hulking machine.  Here in the suburbs, men gauged the measure of each other by the size of their grills.

Once the knob had been satisfactorily adjusted, Bill looked back up at the others.  "Summoning ritual gone wrong, the whole nine yards.  It's really the only way for me to explain it.  She's nothing like how she used to be."

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

The Heavy Darkness

There's a feeling, Elle considered to herself, that can come from darkness.

She clutched the slightly bent tire iron closer to herself as she tried to see further, blinking her eyes in a futile attempt to help her night vision.  All around her, the shadows grew deep and thick before congealing into a solid mass of impenetrable blankness.

Elle normally felt accustomed to darkness.  She was, after all, a creature of the half-dark, spending most of her waking hours prowling in the twilight.  It was always a delicate balancing act; she had to wait until the sun had sank down to kiss the horizon, to the point when most of the other bands of hunters would have already set up their camps and turned in for the night.

But Elle also knew that for each moment she waited, the sun grew a little dimmer, and her window shrank.  And if she waited too long, darkness would come sweeping over her like a crashing wave of surf.  That darkness brought its own terrors with it, far more ephemeral than the bands of hunters, but just as deadly.

Tonight, the darkness felt especially thick...

Monday, September 21, 2015

Book 37 of 52: "Mystery of the Blue Train" by Agatha Christie


More Agatha Christie!  Probably a quarter of all the books in my 52 Book Challenge for this year so far have been AC novels.  They're just always so engaging, while still being a great way to unwind after a long day, sitting in bed with just a night light turned on.

Like many others, "Mystery of the Blue Train" is a Hercule Poirot mystery, although, as is often the case, the eponymous detective is not truly the main character.  Instead, the story revolves around Katherine Grey, a young but level-headed heroine who, upon coming into a large sum of money, sets off to see the world.  But scarcely is she away before she finds herself involved in murder!

Friday, September 18, 2015

[The Kung War] The Diplomat at War, Part I

If he ignored the lurking sense of uselessness that sulked constantly at the back of his mind, Nils told himself, it was a great day.

To be fair, he wasn’t wrong.  The yellow sun overhead cast down its gentle warmth on civilized Ehftia, and a gentle breeze blew across the glassy walkways.  This close to one of the warm freshwater oceans, there was always a slight little hint of moisture and freshness in the air.  The thread-thin glassine supports that held up the walkways in suspension, high above the ground, vibrated tightly as the air blew through them.  Nils was slightly shy of his fortieth birthday, but he still appreciated the mildly reduced gravity of Ehftia.

It was, Nils reminded himself, the dream appointment of any diplomat.  He ought to be thrilled at this posting.

And yet, try as he might, he couldn’t shake that little sense of useless melancholy.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

"Danni California" is now available as an ebook!


“The girl’s eyes widened - just as I pulled the trigger…”

It’s the end of the nineteenth century in a growing nation, and unrest is close at hand. Jasper might wear the high collar of a priest, but he’s a trained killer, highly paid to assassinate anyone troubling the shadowy Organization. He's just received his latest target: a young female redhead robbing banks from Mississippi to Illinois. 

But as Jasper hunts his flame-haired mark, he finds himself growing closer to her. Danni is smart, sassy, and sensual—even when Jasper's looking down the barrel of her Colt. 

As fate pulls the robber and the assassin closer together, they find comfort in each other’s arms. But can these two outlaws hope to stand together as the nation’s forces rally against them?

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Writing Prompt: Who owns samurai swords?

Normally, I'd consider the curved samurai sword out of place.  Who expects to find an actual sword in an office building, even in a gigantic executive's office like this?

At the moment, however, the sword looked like salvation - if I could only reach it.

Trying not to draw attention to myself, I flexed my arms, testing the ropes that bound me to the chair.  The coil looped around me several times, but I could feel it budge ever so slightly when I strained my muscles.

Maybe, just maybe, I had a chance.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Book 36 of 52: "Redshirts: A Novel with 3 Codas" by John Scalzi


Shocking geek confession: I've never seen Star Trek.

However, even though I haven't ever watched a single full episode of the show that this book parodies, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the fast-paced and wicked humor that runs rampant in this novel.  If you've ever watched an action movie and felt like the hero must have somehow acquired a suit of invulnerable plot armor, well, this is the book for you!

Be warned, however: there's going to be some very meta themes.

Friday, September 11, 2015

[The Kung War] First Contact

Frisson (n): a sudden, passing sensation of excitement; a shudder of emotion; thrill

Michael Frederick paused as he strolled along the road, his nose wrinkling slightly.  Something smelled off, he thought to himself.  He took a deep breath of air, and frowned as the word “acrid” wandered through his mind.

For a moment, he glanced down at the muddy road beneath his feet.  “Road” was an optimistic term for it, he thought to himself with a touch of wryness.  The dirt track leading back to his little town of Deven Ride was splashed with puddles and ruts from farmer’s wagons, adding to the already thick layer of dirt coating his boots.

All around him, the scene was quiet, pastoral.  The rolling hills of Idris around him undulated gently, the nearly four foot high crops swaying back and forth in the soft breeze.  If Mike ignored the second moon glowing faintly even in the brightness of the early afternoon sky, he could pretend that he still stood back in the fields of his childhood home in Iowa.

His farmer’s eyes instinctively scanned the horizon.  There!  Up ahead of him, a thin plume of smoke rose up above the crops.  The wind carried the hint of smoky ash towards him.

“Damn,” Mike cursed, quickening his pace slightly.  Deven Ride, the little village that he and Kate called home lay in that direction.  His boots splashed in the shallow puddles as he stomped along, fighting the sucking mud.

Could something have caught fire?  Usually the Ehftians were pretty good at getting any accidental fires put out pretty quickly.  A necessary skill, considering that they still built most structures out of wood.  On Idris, the trees grew quickly, and their small community needed far more material than they could fabricate with the tech they’d brought over.

At first, Mike had balked at the idea of settling on this new world.  “I’m not a settler,” he had protested, standing over the kitchen table in their cramped little apartment. "And you know how aliens make me uncomfortable."

“But you are a farmer,” Kate had replied serenely, looking as calm and composed as she sat at the table as Mike had ever seen her.  “And I know you’re miserable here, in the city.  You miss gazing out at fields of crops."

Mike shook his head, but they both knew that Kate was correct.  Even now, in the midst of this debate, he felt a surge of affection towards his wife.  She was the best thing to happen to him, and he still sometimes couldn’t believe that, when she took his diner order all those years ago, he’d managed to summon up the courage to ask for her number.

A farmer and a waitress, he had thought to himself, shaking his head ruefully as he settled down at the kitchen table across from his wife.  Two of the most unlikely choices for interplanetary settlers that anyone could pick.

“Okay,” he finally gave in, after a long sigh.  “Tell me about this crazy plan of yours.”

And Kate told him.

The planet was twenty-seven light years away, discovered several centuries ago and given the name Idris, after the prophet.  Humanity knew it was habitable, but Idris’s borders only recently opened up for immigration.  “The Ehft technically control the planet, but they’re opening it up to us as a sign of goodwill,” his wife read from the pamphlet she’d brought home.  “It’s a little milder climate than Earth, slightly higher gravity.  And it’s got great soil, a lot like our own planet.”

There had been more debate, of course, but Mike and Kate both already knew the final outcome.  Kate had made up her mind, and although a strong man in many respects, Mike was perenially powerless to argue against her.

Now, four years later, he looked back on that decision as one of the best in his life.

Sure, settling on Idris hadn’t been easy.  The Ehft, stocky meter-tall feathery creatures that reminded Mike of old drawings of Kiwi birds, proved to be friendly enough.  Their beaks gave their speech a curious clipped accent, but they quickly mastered Galactic English, and Mike even picked up some phrases in their curious squawking tongue.  He sometimes felt like a giant when he passed through a crowd of the short little aliens, but they were always polite and cordial in their greetings.

Mike reflected on the strange little aliens for a moment.  They weren’t what the farmer would call “his people,” that much was certain.  But they were agreeable, in their own little way.  They always inquired about Kate, and now asked about little Ethan’s health as well.  Mike always smiled when he replied.  In some way, the little birdlike Ehft reminded him of his own child.

After some thought, he and his wife chose a plot of land on the northern continent, inland but near a river.  The climate proved as mild as promised, and although fluctuating rain levels sometimes made him worry about their crops, the river’s irrigation proved a blessing.  His house sat in the little village of Deven Ride, a larger mother bird surrounded by the smaller Ehftian dome-shaped huts.

That little village was just over the next hill.  Still eyeing that plume of smoke with concern, Mike picked up his pace, cutting through the nearest field and climbing up until he could see over the waving crops.

As he crested the hill, he stopped, staring.

The village hadn’t been laid out in any real order.  The Ehft tended to add more homes as their population grew, spreading out in all directions without any true pattern.  But they had made sure to leave a central green, where the Ehft youngsters flapped and bounced off each other.  Mike and Kate imagined that Ethan would soon be running about as well, once he grew steadier on his chubby feet.  Normally, the village reminded Mike of a cluster of mushrooms.

But now, those mushrooms were smoldering and scattered.  Something must have happened, Mike thought blankly to himself as he stared down, trying to make sense of the chaos in front of him.  A meteor strike of some sort, perhaps?

Several of the Ehftian domes looked flattened, completely demolished.  Others looked shattered, burnt and blackened.  Several of the round homes still burned, sending up that plume of smoke.

Where were the Ehft? Mike thought wildly, taking another step down the hill towards the village.  Surely, they would be hurrying to extinguish those fires!

But his eyes fell on an object in the middle of the village and he stopped, staring.

A large, bulbous shape sat in the middle of the destruction, its oval shape distorted by strange blobby growths.  Several short rods protruded from some of those blisters, and with a thrill of terror, Mike realized that he was looking at some sort of armed spaceship.

The ship didn’t look like any he’d seen, either Ehftian or Terran.  But who else could it be?

Movement suddenly caught Mike’s eye.  There!  An Ehft came scurrying out of the wreckage of one of the huts, sprinting across the charred ground.

Mike started to call out, but as his mouth opened, some thrown object shot out from between the huts, and the Ehft stumbled and collapsed with a cry.  As Mike stared in confusion and horror, a new creature emerged from behind one of the huts, advancing on the injured little birdlike alien.

This new creature stood on two legs, like Mike, with a bipedal body, but that was where the similarities ended.  Instead of two arms, it had four, and it looked almost unnaturally thin.  In one of its four arms, it brandished a nasty-looking knife, which it kept pointed at the whimpering Ehft.

Invaders!  Mike’s mind still reeled, but he crouched back, down amid the cover of the plants around him.  The Ehft whimpered again, prompting the attacker to deliver a savage kick.  It made some sort of noise, a harsh scraping sound like nails on a chalkboard, and then raised the long knife in its hands.  Standing over the injured Ehft, it lifted the blade high.

Mike tore his eyes away, but he still heard the crunch and the organic sound that followed.

It still didn’t make sense!  Some sort of unknown alien race, attacking out of the blue?  And why pick their little farming community on Idris?  There was no military presence here, no valuable strategic base.

Confusion weighed heavily on Mike’s mind – but beneath it, he felt a rising tide of burning, furious anger.  The little bird couldn’t have meant any harm!  And this alien had butchered it without a thought!

He heard another squawk, and dragged his attention back down at the ruins of the village.  The six-limbed alien had advanced on one of the still-standing huts, knocking down the door.  Another Ehft scurried outside, clearly cringing away from the weapon in the attacker’s hands.

More movement danced around this Ehft’s legs, and Mike’s blood suddenly turned to ice in his veins as he squinted.  There were chicks, little Ehft youngsters, clinging to their mother’s legs!

It didn’t seem to make a difference to the attacker.  The sword’s blade flashed again, and the Ehft collapsed.  The chicks squealed in alarm and fear, trying to cluster up against their fallen parent.  The alien just grunted, bringing its blade up again for another slaughtering strike.

The boiling anger overflowed.  Without thought, Mike was on his feet, charging forward.  Aliens or not, the little chicks were helpless!  And this attacker was going to slaughter them?  Never!

The six-limbed alien glanced up at the sound of his pounding footsteps, but Mike was moving too quickly for the alien to react.  It tried to bring the blade around, but Mike tackled it, his weight bringing them both to the ground.

Those four limbs scrabbled at Mike, but his vision was edged with red, and he barely felt as slashes cut through his clothes.  He slammed an elbow down, grinning with bitter, humorless satisfaction as something crunched beneath the blow.

His questing hand closed on something hard, something of cool metal.  The blade slid into his hand awkwardly, but he brought it around, slamming it over and over into the creature beneath him until its spasms ceased.

Mike rose up uncertainly to his feet.  The Ehft youngsters had scattered, probably out into the fields.  He stared around at the burning village, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.  He glanced down at the six-limbed alien at his feet, but the creature sprawled, clearly dead.  No creature, human or alien, could survive with its chest shattered like that.

His thoughts felt like sludge, mired and lost in fog.  The blade, still clutched in his hand, felt heavy and useless.

He stood in a waking nightmare.  All around him, little Ehft lay in motionless piles of feathers, while their homes and structures burned.

And then, piercing down to his very soul, he heard the scream.

This wasn’t the squawking cry of an Ehft.  This scream was uniquely human, the shriek of a woman in mortal danger.

Kate.

His heart stopped, and all conscious thought ceased inside the Terran’s mind.

*

The two Kung cautiously entered the house.  This building seemed larger than the little huts surrounding it.  They didn’t anticipate trouble, but both clutched their scimitari in their more powerful upper hands.

Outside, their companions were probably cutting down the last of the little bird-creatures that populated this planet.  There was little honor in killing such weak and worthless opponents, but their duty was to exterminate.  And perhaps, this Kung considered hopefully, this larger building would contain a chieftain of some sort, whose death would bring them more honor.

There!  One of the Kung caught a hint of motion, and leapt forward.  His kick shattered the closed door, and the sentient on the other side let out a loud cry and shrank back.

No bird-creature, this!  Larger, the Kung observed, nearly as tall as he stood.  But flabby, with none of his deadly thinness.  Only two arms, not four.  Pale skin, clutching what looked like a smaller version of itself to its chest.  The smaller, perhaps a juvenile, stared at the Kung with large, watery eyes.

The creature let out another scream, trying to back away from the Kung.  No fighter, this one.  Not worth much honor.  But the Kung were here to purge these lesser sentients.  He raised his scimitari and advanced.

From behind, the Kung heard a pounding sound, drawing closer.  Something approaching?  His companion turned, brandishing the knife and watching the door.

Something burst in, slamming into the Kung nearer to the door with a roar of deep-throated rage.  It yelled something, but even if the Kung could have understood the language, the words blended together into a cry of raw, unhinged emotion.

“I’ll kill you I’ll kill youkillyoukillyoukillkillkill you I’ll kill you kill you I’ll kill you-“

It was another one of these flabby two-armed alien creatures!  Larger and more muscular than the cowering specimen – a male, perhaps?  But even as the Kung drew this connection, his fellow slumped back, as the screaming alien slammed a scimitari over and over into his fellow Kung’s carapace.

Grinning, the Kung turned towards this new threat, hefting his own scimitari.  This, now, this was a fight that promised honor!  He squared off, one blade forward to defend, the other drawn back and poised to strike.

This screaming, raging alien didn’t bother with any form, however.  He threw himself forward, still bellowing at the Kung.

“You hurt her I’ll kill you kill you kill kill killyoukillyou I’ll kill-“

Its first strike was sloppy, wild.  The Kung parried the attack and brought his own blade around to counter, slicing open a line along the alien’s flabby arm.

But then the Kung made his first mistake.

Another Kung, after failing on the attack, would have pulled back and recalculated, planning its second assault.  But this screaming, shouting alien didn’t pause.  Even as strangely red blood erupted from its arm, it slammed the injured limb forward, knocking the Kung off balance from sheer fury.  Its leg swept forward as well, smashing against the Kung’s own leg and upsetting his battle stance.  They both toppled backward.

On the ground, the Kung kicked back wildly against this alien on top of him.  It never entered the Kung’s mind that he might be losing this fight.  He was trained to win, to always seek victory.

Another hit scored, this time along the alien’s ribcage!  The Kung felt his knife sink in deeply, and knew that he’d won.  Victory, as he’d been trained to seek!

Yet still the alien flailed at him.  It howled in pain, but still didn’t retreat.  Did this creature not know reason?  Was it some sort of berserker?

That wondering thought was the second-last thing to pass through the Kung’s mind.

The last thing was the blade of the alien’s scimitari, stolen from his fallen companion, piercing his skull and turning the Kung’s brains to pulp.

*

The six-limbed creature slumped back, still twitching, and Mike found himself thinking again.

He stared down at the thing, below him.  His final, desperate attack, guided by unthinking rage, literally nailed the creature to the floor of the farmhouse.  His hands dripped blue gore, coated up to the elbow.

Mike raised his eyes to Kate, who still clutched little Ethan to his chest.  “Are you-“ he began, unable to even finish the sentence.

She nodded, shaking off her paralysis and rushing forward to him.  “You’re hurt, Mike!  We have to-“

He waved her off, even as the pain hit him and he doubled over, clutching at his side.  “No!” he rasped, covering the wound in his stomach, unwilling to let her see.  “You have to get Ethan out of here.  Get to safety – tell someone about this-“

“I can’t!”  Now she was sobbing as well, her hands grabbing at him, sounding almost hysterical.  “What about you-“

His teeth gritted as he fought the pain, Mike pulled himself back up to his feet.  “There could be more of these things out there,” he said, picking up the dead monster’s knife with his good hand.  “You go.  I’ll hold them off.”

Kate shook her head, but Mike leaned up against her, kissing her softly, almost tenderly, on the cheek.  “Please,” he begged her, his voice a hoarse whisper.  “I can’t – I need for you to be safe.  I need it, more than anything.”

Now, Kate was weeping as well, their tears mingling together as she embraced him.  “Oh, Mike,” she sobbed, holding him for what they both knew would be the last time.  “Mike, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Mike whispered back, meaning the words with all his heart.

After a moment, however, another spasm of pain hit his body, and he straightened back up.  “Now, go!  Away from the ship, and don’t look back.  Head for Caemlyn, over the hill – they’ll have a radio.  Keep Ethan safe.”

Kate nodded, and although her eyes shone with still more tears, she managed to straighten up, showing off the iron spine she possessed.  Mike saw that iron, knew it for the surge of love it summoned up within him.  He watched as the love of his life picked up their son, who still stared, too young to understand, and headed out the back door of their farmhouse.

As she left, Mike staggered back to the front door.  Still clutching the stolen knife from his dead foe, he stared up at the bulbous, ugly ship that stood in the middle of the destroyed village.

“Fuck you,” he growled under his breath, as he started forward.  Once again, the redness crept into the corners of his vision, letting him ignore the burning pain.

*

“Odd.”

The Kung commander narrowed his eyes as he turned to the subordinate officer who’d dared to speak aloud.  “What is it, navigator?” he growled, considering executing the impertinent officer right there for daring to speak without addressing him by his proper title.

The juvenile officer, perhaps not realizing his error, gestured down at the screen below him.  “One of our shuttles, victor.  It’s coming back up – but we received no signal before its launch.”

Now, at least, the officer used the proper term of respect.  The commander leaned over the display panel, watching as the little dot representing the landing craft rose up from the planet’s surface.  “It’s moving quite fast,” he observed.

“Yes, victor.  In fact, it should be visible on the main screen in a moment.”

They both raised their eyes up to the main display, higher than the other screens.  Sure enough, there was the flare of the approaching shuttle.  Its flight path seemed very erratic, and the engines looked out of sync, but it was definitely headed towards them – and accelerating.  Whoever sat behind the ship's controls clearly hadn't piloted a vessel like this before, but the ship still advanced - rapidly.

“It’s not diverting its course towards the docking bay, victor,” the navigation officer commented unnecessarily.  Everyone on the ship’s deck could see that, whatever the shuttle was doing, it wasn’t changing course.

The commander sprang into action as the shuttle continued to grow larger.  “Open a line of communication to its comm!” he demanded, waving a hand at the communications officer.

That Kung was already flying his fingers over his keyboard.  “Shuttle 23, this is the main ship,” he called into the microphone.  “To avoid a collision, cut speed and shift heading to-“

The growled, half-garbled response that came back over the channel made no sense to the Kung.  Their ship’s computers could perhaps have created some sort of translation, given enough time, but time was one advantage that they no longer possessed.

For just a moment, before the shuttle slammed into the side of the warship at full power and underwent cataclysmic meltdown of its main drive core, the Kung commander frowned at the nonsensical sounds from the shuttle.

“Fuck you!”

#

*Author's note: Yes, this will (probably) be a series!  I really want the chance to try and develop some good characters.  Personally, it's that defiant middle finger, fighting back against impossible odds because it's the honorable thing to do, that gives me a sense of frisson, that chill running down my spine.  That's what I want to capture here.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

A true flight saga, told through tweets.





Monday, September 7, 2015

Book 35 of 52: "The Windup Girl" by Paolo Bacigalupi


If I had only one word to describe this book, I think I'd call it "harrowing."

If I had a few more words, I might call it "a harrowing, twisted look at life in the third world in a plague-ravaged, genetically twisted post-apocalyptic, calorie-starved future."

Yeah.  That sums it up pretty well.