On lateness, and the end of the year

Okay, okay, settle down.  Let's have a nice, easy press conference, okay?  God, my head is still killing me.  That's off the record.  Don't write that down.

Okay, you.  Go.

"Sir, where was the post scheduled for Monday?"

Right.  I'll be honest with you, here.  I'm on vacation for the end of the year, so I left it off until Sunday or so.  I was going to write a post on Sunday evening - even had the idea all planned out - and then I felt a queasiness starting in my gut.

Long story short, let's just say that I should probably lay off the homemade Hollandaise sauce for a while.  You get me?

Salmonella.  Nausea, vomiting, spewing liquid out of both ends at once.  Really not a pleasant time.  Nothing like sitting on the john, pants around your ankles, clutching a garbage can to your chest as you try and catch all of the-

-well, it was pretty bad.  I'll leave it at that.  Next question.

"If this is Wednesday's post, isn't this a bit of a cop-out?"

Yeah, I suppose so, but hey, I just had food poisoning.  Suck it.

Besides, there will probably be one up for Friday.  Maybe.  Aren't you lot supposed to be off visiting friends and family, enjoying yourselves, instead of harping on a blog?

"What's in store for next year, sir?  And I love your work, by the way!"

Thank you!  Those are some kind words, imaginary reporter I'm voicing.

This next year will hold a few changes for Missing Brains!  I'm looking to do the following:

1. Complete the 52 book challenge - that is, read 52 books a year!  That comes down to one a week.  And to keep myself motivated on that, Monday's post will often be a short review of one of the recently completed books.

2. Not only do I want to write more Angels posts, but I'm going to be shaping them together into a collection!  Expect to see more stories, including some with a unifying arc that connects the different stories together.  Coming soon to Amazon!

3. Plenty of posts about science fiction!

So stay tuned, as this blog enters its SECOND FULL YEAR of existence, providing mostly regular updates, assuming I don't get poisoned again!

A Superhero's Betrayal, Part III

This story begins here.

The explosion erupted out of the compound like a gout of flame, a huge, rising, massive pillar of fire bursting up from Hell itself.  The heat and energy signature of the explosion registered even on the satellites orbiting the compound, far above.

Military troops had been positioned outside the compound, waiting for the signal from Captain Electric to move in.  Unfortunately, they were far too close to the explosion's epicenter to escape.

Most of the troops, heavy armor units, were vaporized where they stood, the metal chassis of the hulking machines melting into slagged piles of annihilated metal.  At least the troops inside the machines died instantly, their bodies flash-fried into little more than ash...

A Superhero's Betrayal, Part II

Continued from Part I, here.

"Captain..." I felt paralyzed, unable to move, unable to think.  This couldn't happen.  My own mentor, my oldest and strongest friend, the pillar of my entire life - he had just turned against everything we'd believed in, everything we had fought for over the last two decades.

The Cap didn't even glance at me.  Instead, he turned around to look at the screens behind Dr. Hazard.  "We need to minimize human loss."  His voice was distant, cold...

A Superhero's Betrayal, Part I

I kept my eyes on the passage behind us, my heart pounding in my ears.  We'd managed to defeat all of the Kill-Bots we'd encountered so far, but I knew that Dr. Hazard always kept reinforcements.

We didn't have long before they arrived, and we'd find ourselves under fire - and in this open chamber, there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to take shelter...

The Angels: Tough Love

Sitting at the table in the cafe, I did my best to take slow, full breaths.  Don't hyperventilate, I told myself.  This isn't a huge deal.

I mean, I was finally meeting, in person, the girl I'd been chatting with online for six months, and this was my only chance to make a good first impression in person.  This was the girl that I'd been pinning all my hopes on, that I was pretty sure I was falling in love with.  And now, I was going to see her in person for the very first time.

But hey, no pressure.

I looked down at the empty table.  Should I order a cup of coffee?  I felt jittery already, but I also wanted something in my hands, something that I could sip at to take my mind off of the rapidly approaching future.  I couldn't even decide this.

The door to the cafe opened with a jingle, and I glanced up.  Was this her?  She'd said that she was going to wear a red bobble hat, she'd messaged me.

But no, the man who stepped inside the cafe wasn't wearing anything on his hair.  He was, however, wearing what looked vaguely like a cross between a robe and a toga, all white cloth.  I frowned a little.  That was strange.

But the strangeness didn't stop there.

The stranger glanced around after stepping inside, spotted me, and gave me a head nod, as if he recognized me!  As I watched in shock and confusion, he cut his way through all the tables towards me, his eyes focused on me.

"Ugh, you look ridiculous," the man said to me as he plopped down in the chair opposite mine at the little table.

I blinked, feeling totally confused.  I didn't even know this man, although something about him looked slightly familiar.  I had that sort of impression, like when I see someone who reminds me of a dream.  "Um, excuse me, but I'm waiting for someone," I said, wishing that this guy would vanish.

"Yeah, yeah, Juliette sixteen, or whatever," the man replied to me, waving one hand vaguely in my direction in a brush-off gesture.  "As if that's going to work out."

Who the hell was this?  And how did he know the screen name of my date?  "Excuse me," I said again, this time trying to inject some more strength into my voice.  "But really, I don't know you, and I am meeting-"

"The whole thing's a crock of shit, you know that?" the man interrupted me, turning to stare at me.  As his eyes locked on mine, I felt my voice cut off.  I'd never seen such brilliant blue irises before.  "I mean, I was doing just fine smiting evil, all of that, and then next thing I know, I'm pulled and stuck in the guardian division!  And now I'm burdened with you sad sack, as if I didn't have enough problems of my own."

What?  "Hey, I'm not a-"

"Yes, you are," the man replied, waving a hand at me again.  "I mean, come on, dude!  Just look at you.  Hey, can we get some service over here?" he called out to a nearby waitress, snapping his fingers in the air.  What a jerk, I thought to myself.

The waitress turned and made her way over, a frown on her face as she glared at the man who had summoned her in such a degrading manner.  "What?" she asked, shifting her glare back and forth.  I felt a bit hurt.  I hadn't done anything wrong!  I didn't even know this guy!

"Cup of coffee, seven creams, seven sugars," the guy told her.  He immediately returned his attention back to me, acting as if the waitress had ceased to exist.  "But seriously, just look at you!  You're what, twenty-nine now?"

"Twenty-eight!" I replied, not sure why I was answering him.

"And you've got a dead-end job, no girl, and no friends," the man picked up as if I hadn't spoken.  "Seriously, dude.  You're about two more cats away from getting the Lifetime Loser award."

"Who the hell are you to-"

The man flapped his hand again at me, rolling his eyes.  "And not especially fast on the uptake, either," he said.  "Here, maybe this will finally make it clear."

The man bent over, rustling around in a pocket of his robe, as I felt my hands squeeze into fists.  How dare this stranger come over and just start insulting me-

But then, the man pulled something out of his pocket, and I felt my mouth drop open as my thoughts cut off mid-train.

He was holding a glowing ring, about the size of a dessert plate.

And as I watched, he hung this glowing ring in thin air over his head, where it bobbed up and down, supported by nothing.

I couldn't speak, but still tried.  "You're- you're a- you're an-" I tried, stammering.

"Yeah, yeah, angel, holy power, all that shit," the man replied, rolling his eyes again.  "Where the hell is that coffee?"

As I blinked and felt my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, the man's coffee arrived, the waitress slamming it down on the table so hard it spilled a little.  "There," she told him, before stalking off.

Finally, I managed to regain my voice.  "You're an angel!  But I didn't think that they existed!" I got out.

"Well, they do," the man told me, taking a sip of his coffee and grimacing.  "Ugh, spit.  Like I wouldn't notice.  And for whatever sins I committed, I'm now stuck as yours."

"Mine?  Like a guardian angel?"

"Yeah, just like that," he said, taking another sip.  "And ordinarily I'd just let you wallow in sadness, but you're about to make a major screw-up, so I figured I was obligated to step in."

"Screw-up?"  I had no idea what the man was talking about.  "Wait, am I going to bomb this date?"

The angel's eyes widened slightly at me.  "Bomb it?" he repeated incredulously.  "Hell no!  You're bombing it right now by showing up!  You ought to be running away as fast as those wimpy little legs of yours can carry you!"

"This is a mistake?"

The angel glared at me.  "And this is why I hate being a guardian," he announced to the world in general.  "Yes, it's a mistake!  She's crazy!  Cuckoo!  A freaking loony!"  He raised one finger up and swirled it around his head to illustrate what he meant.

"What?  But she seems perfect!"  I didn't know what to think.  On one hand, this guy had a halo, that was true.  But I'd been chatting with Juliette for months!

The angel held up fingers as he ticked off reasons.  "She's got just as dead-end of a job as you," he called off.  "She's got three cats.  Seriously, three.  She's gonna be as crazy as her mom is, and will drag you into the fights.  And she's really just trying to get you to buy her stuff."

I shook my head.  "I can't believe it!" I repeated, feeling flabbergasted.

The angel sighed, but then stood up.  "Fine, fine," he said.  "Here, come on.  We're going out to find you a real girl."

Not sure what to think, I let the other man pull me up to his feet.  "Hey, pay for my coffee," he told me, heading for the door.  "I'll meet you outside."

I did as he requested, handing a few dollars over to the stone-faced waitress and whispering "sorry" to her.  I then hurried out of the cafe, trying to catch up to the man in the robe, now standing outside on the sidewalk and glaring around at the world as if it had personally pissed him off.

"Come on, now," he grunted at me, starting off down the sidewalk.  "If I'm stuck with you as my client, I'll at least try and solve some of these problems quickly.  The sooner I get you back on track, the sooner I can get out of here and back to smiting, where I belong."

I did as he requested, tagging along a half-step behind him, but I still felt as though I had to say something.  "You're a real asshole, you know that?" I told the angel, trying to keep up.

He just shrugged and kept walking.  "At least I get things done," he told me.  "Now, come on!  And really, we ought to get you a dog.  Girls like a guy with a dog."

As we walked away from the cafe, a short, pale, bespectacled girl with a furry red bobble cap made her way towards the door, trying to brush cat hair off of her hand-knit sweater and furtively glancing around, as if she thought someone was following her, sweat stains marking her armpits...

The Portal

I woke up, my head aching even more than usual.  "Ugh," I announced, eloquently informing the world that I had returned to consciousness.

I tried to open my eyes, but they were still half-crusted shut from whatever I'd been up to the last night.  I only managed to get them half-open, and saw that I was someplace dim.  I reached up with one arm to wipe them free of the crusty debris-

-but my arm didn't move.

The Recruitment

Storm looked up through half-closed, hooded eyes as the scientist in front of him babbled on, his words spilling out of him like the rushing flow of a half-dammed stream.

"This is absolutely insane!" he kept on saying, as if this somehow contributed to the conversation.  "To have amassed this many samples of the triple helix fragments - why, it's totally unheard of!  Just imagine what sort of discoveries we can make with this!"

Storm didn't need to hear any of this, but he let the scientist keep on babbling.  Instead of listening to the words, he instead half-tuned them out, focusing rather on the man himself...

"I just don't like her!"

"So what, you just don't like her?  There's no reason why?"

"No, there's a reason.  I mean, I have a reason for not liking her!  I'm not just some sort of psychopath that goes around not liking people for no reason."

"Evidently."

"Gimme a chance, man!"

"Okay, fine.  Why don't you like her?"

Do Computers Speak to Angels?

As soon as I saw the angel stagger into the shop, his wide grin almost totally hidden behind the huge, bulky computer monitor in his arms, I had to hold in a sigh.  This wasn't going to be fun...

Containment Failure

I was walking down the hallway when it happened.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.  No noise, of course - I knew better than to leave the volume on.  Countless infiltrations had taught me the power of silence.

I withdrew the slim, black rectangle from my pocket, glancing down at the lit screen.  I made sure to keep the backlight turned all the way down, just bright enough to read the words on the screen/

There were only two.

"Containment failure."

Love at the return counter

The big box in my arms was heavy as well as just a little too big for me to hold comfortably, and I could feel the damn thing slipping out of my hands.  I tried to tighten my fingers as best I could, even as I began to lose sensation.  I was so close!

At least, I was close to the front of the line.  In terms of absolutes, however, I was still far, far away from clawing my way back up to equal...

The Next Big Thing in Video Games

The Prompt: Come up with the most outlandish "next big thing" in video games - and then sell it!

Read on to see my take on the industry's newest darling...

100% Achieved

When I flopped back onto the pillow, just before my eyes sagged shut, I glanced over at the clock.

11:57 PM, the red numbers read in the darkness.

I was feeling pretty good with the day already, feeling pretty accomplished.  Man, I thought to myself, I got a lot done!  But I still felt as though I was forgetting something...