Friday, December 12, 2014

"I just don't like her!"

"So what, you just don't like her?  There's no reason why?"

"No, there's a reason.  I mean, I have a reason for not liking her!  I'm not just some sort of psychopath that goes around not liking people for no reason."

"Evidently."

"Gimme a chance, man!"

"Okay, fine.  Why don't you like her?"


"Well, it's a stupid reason.  But she just, well, she talks to one person too much."

"..."

"You're giving me that look again."

"Because I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Um.  Okay.  Let me try a different way.  Do you ever have a conversation with a group of five friends?  You all face each other, talk to everyone else in the group, project your voice so everyone can hear, you know.  All of that."

"Sure...?"

"Well, have you ever had someone in that group of five friends that can't seem to understand that it's more than a two-person conversation?  She'll look only at you when she's talking, even if you're standing next to her, doesn't address anyone else, and is quiet.  As soon as she says something, it's clearly to you, so you have to respond.  And then she responds to you before anyone else can get a word in."

"So she cuts out the other people in the conversation."

"Yeah, exactly.  That's one of the reasons I don't like this girl."

"...That's a really stupid reason."

"I told you!  But she's also a long talker, too.  Which makes it all even more agonizing."

"Okay, you've lost me again.  Long talker?"

"She talks too long."

"Still lost."

"If I asked you whether you'd eaten yet this morning, what would you say?"

"...yes?  I had a bagel for breakfast."

"But this girl, man, she'd go on to tell me all about the bagel, and how it was different from her normal morning bagel, and how she almost didn't eat one but then remembered that we had class and she didn't want to be hungry!  She just keeps going!"

"Okay.  Got it.  Long talker.  Plus what, single focuser?"

"Yeah.  Single focuser, long talker.  Deadly combination."

"That's still a stupid reason."

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