Conversation 1

"Look, I'm just saying that it's really hard to get published. Have you ever tried to enter a writing contest?  Million entries. We've got no chance."

"Yeah, everyone wants to be a writer. That's why I don't want to be one."

"What?  Why not?"

"It's like you said. Everyone is trying to be one, right?  Submitting manuscripts and stuff?"

"Well, yeah..."

"But no matter how many are submitted, only a few are accepted. It's an inverse. The more people want to enter, the lower their chances. So when everyone's entered, your odds are pretty much zero."

"Yeah, I got that. So I really might as well not bother entering then."

"But everyone's gonna think that. And all of a sudden the editors are all starved for material and start publishing left and right."

"So I should submit my writing."

"But everyone's doing the same thing. You've got no chance again."

"Lemme see if I've got this... There's plenty of demand for my writing, but only at the wrong times?"

"Exactly. The time to submit is when you're not submitting."

"I don't get it. Do I just keep resubmitting constantly, then, in hopes of hitting that right time?"

"Ah, but that's what they're all doing."

"I can't win at all, can I? Man, I give up. I'm out."

"And now my own chances have gone up, since you've dropped out!  That's why I'm telling this to everyone."

"I get it!  The more hopelessness we cause, the more hope there is for us. It seems kind of sick and twisted though."

"Oh, it definitely is. Haven't you ever wondered why all the most successful writers are so insane?"

"So I can't make it as a writer because..."

"...because you're not enough of a sociopath."

"I don't think I want to read anymore. I'm going to be wondering about the writer's intentions. Maybe I'll just watch some TV instead."

"TV?  Do you have any idea how competitive screenwriting is?"